In Reflection - A Personal Account, Discipleship of Christ is Progressive

Many years ago, I was not a member of any church, neither did I practice any spirituality. I did not know the scriptures other than some common well known passages as the Lord's prayer. I was of the world, followed the ways of the world and my thoughts and heart was of the world. At that time if I had listened to any gospel message, I would have shrugged my shoulders and walked away. My state of comprehension of the scriptures, at that time, was pretty low, which to say, scripturally speaking, I was spiritually dead. Now this has since changed if you read my testimonies of Jesus Christ and of the Holy Ghost

Bringing these things into review, especially the changes I endured, I reflected upon the manner and type of thought and belief I had in comparison to what I have now. What I saw were many good changes, and here I speak about these changes. In review, some of these changes were harsh, others moderate and some light, but there were definite changes. I saw in this reflection how these changes, in themselves, were progressive as they afforded experiences. IN the scriptures, God had said that only through trials and affliction are we given knowledge, which at some part, are tests of faith. When any test showed that I needed to improve faith first before receiving the blessing of knowledge, I found that the Lord proceeded with further preparation and training. Then at a later time, the test of faith occurred again. If I passed, I would move into the blessing of more knowledge and deeper understanding.

These changes and progression in knowledge and understanding was not just from reading the scriptures, these changes were actually given by God. How do I know this? It is because these kind of changes could not come by me or by any worldly efforts. These changes were profound, deep and encompassing and always included profound insights and personal revelations. It was because of this that I moved away from the worldly and moved to become more spiritual, as in a disciple of Christ.

The move from being of the world, to being of God was not a sudden thing, it was gradual, but let me elaborate on that for a moment. The gradual that I refer to is not only about the requirement of baptism by water and baptism by the Holy Ghost to be reborn, as the Bible and Book of Mormon testify we need, the gradual I refer to is also the process that this rebirth entails. According to the Guide to the Scriptures, the word "reborn" (or called "born again") means,

Reading that definition, it clearly states that a person is not automatically completely renewed and sinless. It means that a person begins with a change of heart and a new desire. This made sense, especially to me when I reflected upon the many changes that were wrought in me by the Lord. This "rebirth" entails a process of change that I found was not always easy. Many a time, I faltered, tripped and fell, spiritually speaking, but each time I got myself back on my feet of faith and carried on. Eventually, after line by line and precept by precept, as stated by Isaiah in the Old Testament, I progressed. At times this progression was quick, at other times moderate and sometimes very slow, but over time, progression did occur.

Even though I knew this, the progression I had to endure all the time still bothered me. For example, one time I began to ponder about the claims made by other Christians that the Holy Ghost is always in us, and that we are "reborn" by just faith or by just belief. Those claims bothered me in light of what I had to suffer and endure to secure continued spiritual development. I prayed about my concern, and over time, God did answer my question. The answer came by way of this progression of experiences, and to my surprise, the answer proved to be very simple. Yes, it was so simple, that anyone should have seen it.

The answer was that faith requires works in order for my faith to move toward perfection. I found that the works was part of the progressive change and experiences (affliction, trials, tribulation etc), and the perfection was the blessing of knowledge and wisdom in that thing which I learned. I saw that this referred to the "mighty change" in mind and heart. So why did I have trouble seeing the answer myself, and had to ask God about it? Well, that answer came as well, and again so simple that the concept was already in the Bible. It was the "natural man" as stated by Paul the Apostle. What this showed me was that even simple principles and concepts that God had provided in his scriptures are not easily seen by us mortals, and this is irrespective of how we think we believe or have faith. I saw that we can get so "puffed up" in our pride of what we think we know, when God can easily derail our pride with simple things. No wonder God warned us to be humble and put aside the natural man. I wonder how many others learned this?

In all cases thus far, the "works" showed to be an integral part of learning God's word. If I stopped the works, or my part in this progression, I stopped learning God's word, and since simple principles and concepts are easily missed, I learned to continue my "works".

What this showed me about spiritual progression of faith, is that we must learn by "first hand" experience, else we cannot know God's word well and we cannot learn about God himself. With what has occurred so far, I found that this understanding fitted perfectly with the Book of James in the Bible, whereby he had said that faith requires works and by good works, Abraham's faith was made perfect. By all the changes and enduring I had to do, my works became better and in turn increased my faith, strengthening it and rooting it deeper into the rock of God. There is no end to what I or anyone can realize from all the spiritual experiences God can provide.

Is there more to this? - the answer is Yes. By way of the background of experiences and knowledge obtained from God, I learned that mere faith and/or belief, with no works to support it, amounted to nothing. This shed a new light on what these other Christians were claiming, in that they have nothing in and of God, but merely their own belief. I realized that any spiritual "rebirth" cannot occur without faith and works, saying nothing about the requirement and importance about baptism. This because God teaches that without faith we can do nothing, and God always achieves his works in us by our participation (works) through faith, not by our idleness of faith.

I can list, if I desired, the many personal changes in me and my life because of God. One of these pleasant changes is that eventually, I began to notice a difference in my line of thoughts, beliefs and manner of perception. What I used to seek after, I no longer and what lead me to seek the things of the world, were removed, replaced with the desire to seek things of God. That confirmed to me that the definition of "reborn" is a true definition, because I am living it.

Whereas before, I was ignorant of many things about God and his ways and when I realized that, the words of Isaiah where he said (paraphrased) that "God's thoughts are not our thoughts and his ways not our ways", proved to be true. Is this not a witness and testimony that God's word is true, and that where I am is right and true in God? If this is not obvious to others, it is obvious to me, but why would others be unable to see the truth I have learned?

The answer lies in our mortality, and how we are each made up from mortal birth. No person is perfect, therefore, what we learned from the world is surely imperfect and in that, it is sorely insufficient to properly understand or comprehend God's truth and examples. I can attest to this as truth, as I have shown above. I was not able to perceive the simple concepts that God taught in his scriptures, and did that make me "ignorant", well the answer to that is "Yes". What I found was that reading and studying the scriptures alone, by my own powers of mind and thought, may provide some understanding, but was insufficient to truly understand the application of God's word or was insufficient for me to incorporate his word into my life. When I arrived at that conclusion, it made sense. In life, even in the world, a person who has book knowledge, but no experience is incapable of applying that knowledge into life. Such is also true with God's word and principles. As we require worldly experience to properly understand worldly knowledge and to have the ability to properly apply it (means having a worldly type of wisdom), it is also true that we require spiritual experience to properly understand spiritual knowledge in-order to have the ability to properly apply it into life. The life of the spiritual word is also life in itself.

What did all this say?

It said to me that any knowledge (seed parable) of God and his word that I gained or obtained from him, even any knowledge that I gained under my own power and effort, did not develop if I foolishly filled around his seed my own concepts, my own personal interpretations, ideas, desires and wants, especially any personal issues I carried.

For example, one of the personal doctrines I once believed was that God himself had no body and was some indefinable presence that filled the immensity of space. Such as the impressions some get from mediation as did the Buddhist monks, the impression that God was an endless sea, quiet and soundless. This belief certainly came into a change, as I realized that I misunderstood what God was about. That such things as mediations are not necessarily proper acts of faith, because I found that faith must be focused to a being (God) that has substance and has a single, understandingable presence. I found that if faith is focused to something that has no substance and no single presence, such as the "immensity of space", then there is no faith in God because that faith is lost in the "endless, soundless sea". How can a person maintain faith in a being that is impossible to focus upon? Is it then any wonder why people, be it in the Old Testament or in this day and age, create idols to focus their hearts to, when some idol doctrine proves to have no "substance of truth"?

Speaking for my own experience in this, what happened when I accepted a doctrine about God having no body? The answer is that I missed the mark. I realized that I made God into something I wanted him to be, instead of seeking the truth from him of what he truly is. Again the curse of the "natural man" who cannot comprehend spiritual things, and this natural man showed to be a continuous soreness in the works of faith. What better way for the natural man to make himself more real than God himself, making God as having "no substance and no form" where man has a form. I certainly saw how pride of oneself can weed itself into that.

What occurred was that I (wrongly) took a truth about God without fully understanding it, and took it to a tangent that latched onto the belief that pleased me, instead of me seeking to please God. I made it that God had no body, and that belief or "doctrine" was not from God. So what was the truth that I misunderstood? It was the meaning of the word, "Spirit". When the scriptures refer to God filling the immensity of space, it referred to his "light and power". Because I failed to have the right knowledge (seed) in place, I faltered in my beliefs about God. Again the simplicity made difficult by my mortal mind.

What was the answer to God's existence? That he is real and tangible like us, has a body of flesh and bone that is exalted, which means it is spiritual, and when that realization occurred in me, the power of my prayers and focus to God increased. Now in my heart and mind, God was real and reachable. Yet, this realization did not happen quickly. It was not for some years that I learned the truth, that he does have a body. Again this humbled me as it reminded me of my limitations in mind and heart to understand the spiritual things of God, yea even his simple principles and concepts. No wonder Jesus Christ told us to be a little child, so we can learn from him.

What this has shown me was that our mortality is not capable of sustaining a full understanding of God's word by itself, it is impossible. We all get (understanding) of some pieces, parts or sections of God's truth, but we cannot, on our own, unify these pieces without God's help. This is because we live in "mortality and the flesh" and God's truth is "spiritual", that making the flesh against the Spirit. Is that not in the Bible? It takes God to help us raise our mortality (carnal) into the spiritual.

Connections and unification of concepts and principles, as I have found, are crucial to understanding God's works and ways; to understand his gospel and to gaining the ability to properly "discern" the spirit of others, even the words or beliefs they claim. What I had found was that without this unification in us, we cannot stand in God. This is because of the principle of a "divided house" as spoken by Jesus Christ in the New Testament. This not only referred to an actual house or organization, it refers to the constructs and structure of God's word within us. For we are also a "house" unto God, and this concept is seen when God said that our bodies are like temples. Therefore, if we have "division" in us (house), then we will fall to evil and sin. That proved to be quite a profound understanding and usage of God's words and principles.

What is it then that helped me understand all of this?

What greatly helped were the many inner changes that God encouraged to upgrade my mind and heart, so that I can sustain the truth, else I would fail miserably. I found that there are too many personal variables that interfere and that we have no power alone to overcome them. That coupled with the understanding that we cannot enter God's kingdom in ignorance of his laws, principles, and truth. Placed together, this meant that I had to open myself, as would a child, to God and his Spirit, even to the Holy Ghost, to learn his truths. I came to understand that if I entered the kingdom of God, where perfection exists, and I was ignorant of his laws, principles and truth, I would suffer a fall like Lucifer suffered. Oh, how I saw the wisdom of God in that learning and how God saved me from such a foolish fall by setting his rules of entrance to his kingdom. I came to understand that salvation carries a personal responsibility as does his word. I understood that as easily as we must learn, prepare, change and earn experience to become skilled in things, so must we do the same to earn the entrance to his kingdom. I came to see that the atonement and means to salvation was the power given to us to overcome the things of the flesh, which includes sin, but that did not replace or remove our personal responsibility to "work out our salvation".

Did I say earn entrance to his kingdom? – Yes I said that and I mean it. This is in the Bible in the parable of the slothful servant or the "wild" olive branch. Both are cast out or kept out of the vineyard (kingdom of God). This because the slothful servant or wild olive branch are doing "works" that are consistently contrary (enmity) to God. Such will be cast off and burned, so saith the Lord. Applying this to my life, I learned from God that I must do my part - properly (faith through works) to acquire the needed change and knowledge to enter the kingdom of God, because to the mortal (carnal mind) and the spiritual (spiritual mind) are opposing forces. What earns my way in? - Obedience and this is not an easy task, but certainly a worthy one.

It is not an easy task forsaking these mortal traits and limitations, and I am still working on it. Yet the key words I learned to remind myself of each time I struggle are "endure", "obey", and "humbleness". There has been many a time that I struggled with this spiritual process, where I was acting against God rather than humbling myself. I can testify to you that this is not an easy task and I realized that mere belief is insufficient alone when faced with the reality of this process.

Overall, what have I gained throughout all of this?

I have gained greater patience, greater and deeper understanding that I know I could not have obtained this knowledge and understanding, neither progressed as I have, by just my own power. I have learned that the knowledge of God that I have received thus far, is true spiritually and has meaning in life. From that I was able to see that in depth and in application of what Jesus meant when he said that his words are spirit and they are life. It is why I began my first web page with that heading, the "Spirit and Life of God's Word".

I know there is more, a continued progression that will allow me to acquire more of God's knowledge and in this, this makes the gospel pages come alive. Without it, I know that the gospel pages would be "dead" to me because without it, I would be "dead" in mind and heart as I described above. For this I thank the Lord thy God for his teachings and sufferings, for without it, I would be damned.

What of these other Christians? They have to learn this from God themselves and learn to ask of God better and learn to listen to God better as well.

Mark Warbinek